Doug Stanley RIP

Posted 13th November 2018

Doug Stanley 1934-2018
I can’t recall the first time we met. It may have been the Old Wilsonians or a pub. Not likely to have
been anywhere else. Wherever it was it would be 55 years ago, maybe more. Anyway we seemed
to hit it off from the start and we were soon, as single men, off going round the pubs and visiting his
house and I also became friends with his two brothers.
Doug soon introduced me to the Q Club. A snooker hall sited over a car showroom in Beckenham
run by a guy called Dickie who was a dead ringer for Albert Steptoe, the character from Steptoe
and Son. In the days of licensing laws you could tap on the door any time after 11 pm. Dickie would
scuttle down, look both ways up the street and usher you in quickly almost conspiratorially.
Through the smoke there would be snooker being played and three card brag schools for quite
heavy stakes. This became part of my social life along with visits to the Stanley household. In fact
in 1967 I wrote the following when I was editor of the Old Wilsonians magazine.
“In Stanhope Avenue, Hayes, you might well think you have come across a breeding ground for
Volkswagen Beetles. In fact you will be around the Stanley household wherein dwell three amazing
characters the like of which have never been seen at the OWs. The Stanley brothers include one
OW, in “Junior” (Pete) and of the three he is the only one who does not play tennis at the OWs –
he plays at Wickham Park.
“Medium” (Bill) has a degree and looks as though he is based on “Brains” the Thunderbirds puppet
character. Finally comes Doug who, at 32 years of age, looks it. Doug is an Olympic Gold
Medallist. Or will be as soon as three-card brag is introduced.
The Stanley household is like a miniature stadium for indoor games and all three excel at chess,
bridge, draughts etc. and not since 1948 has a visitor beaten a Stanley at Subutteo table football.
While all three are, and have described themselves as “incredible characters” Doug leads the field.
He talked himself into the tennis team one evening and when it rained cleaned out the opposition
on the card table. He has also gone down on record as the only man to drink a pint whilst taking a
shower. Be warned now. Never underestimate a Stanley. They’ll bet on anything and rarely lose.
See you in the Labour Exchange.”
A year after that article Bill married Pam who he met at the OWs. I was honoured to be asked to be
Bill’s best man. Not sure how I did but nobody has asked me in the 50 years since. Bill did not want
to choose between his brothers. As all four of us were tall and bespectacled many people thought I
was another brother but the other three were always quick to put people right about that.
Betting with Doug was not be advised. He normally won. In fact I think it was partly my fault he
gave up work to gamble full time. I had told him that I kept a record of my results. Amazingly for a
man who kept records on just about everything he said he did not. Once he started he realised
how much he was winning.
Just recently we were reminiscing on how his Mum, one of the loveliest people ever, never quite
worked out what he was doing. One night over 40 years ago he held a brag school at home and
won £200. Today that would be about £3,000. In the morning she asked him how he had got on.
He always divided his answer by 10. He told her he had won twenty quid. She said “Oh those poor
boys. You should give it back to them.”
Doug and I would bet on just about everything often with a heavily-negotiated handicap to take
account of my deficiency in whatever we were at. I used to lose regularly when he asked a barmaid
to guess the age difference between us. It was 10 years in my favour but once one thought he was
younger than me. I had to avoid him after that but soon we would be betting on whose luggage
OBITUARY
came off the carousel first and anything else we could think of.
Only at table football did I have the edge. I had to give him a huge start but for once I normally
won. In those days there were tables in many pubs and Doug took me round to play their
champions, obviously for money, and I never lost. But even that joy was taken from me by a
Stanley. When Doug’s nephew Patrick arrived on the scene he became the first person to regularly
beat me. Mind you there is a 50-year age gap.
He loved his grub. In early days he would often have two starters as well as a main course and
dessert. He was legendary at the OWs monthly lunch for being first to the cheeseboard and not
leaving much behind. He loved quizzes sometimes cleaning out the opposition like the
cheeseboard. In fact, although the gambling wins did not last, he still seemed to love just about
everything he did.
Every January the Dalegarth Games (his house name) would take place with ever-increasing
numbers of Stanleys of all ages taking part in an indoor Olympics. Only Doug’s great pal Allison
and I were non-Stanleys and proud to be there. Even my wife Laura made a debut two years ago.
Five year analytical records would be bashed out on old typewriter - he never embraced computer
technology - and sent round afterwards.
You definitely did not play Doug at Scrabble. Regularly he would hit a 50 point bonus wiping out
any negotiated handicap. Consequently he loved Countdown right to the end. He should have
gone on it and after I appeared in celebrity corner for a couple of dozen shows I sent in this
excellent poem that he wrote. I can’t believe they didn’t use it.
I’ve been watching Countdown since 1983
People say I’m mad, perhaps you need to be
They all ask me what I see in the game
And when I respond my reply’s always the same
I say it has helped my brain, this mental stimulation
Working out those letters and mental calculation
For it has made my life easier as my old age beckons
Cause I now sort all my problems out in under 30 seconds
At only one game were we level. He taught me to play backgammon and whenever I was in the
area I would call in for an hour’s clash as we called it. He kept copious records of course. He would
always offer refreshment. He was a great sandwich-maker. Did fate take a hand in our last ever
game? The first full week of November was my last before going away for three and a half months.
Doug had not been well and of course the unthinkable had crossed my mind.
In that week I was having a job fitting a visit in until my friend Lennie changed the date of a meeting
nearby to the Tuesday. I told him that suited me as I could visit my old friend Doug. We had a
double session and he won a tenner. He had seemed much brighter and we were even talking
about clashing in March.
On Friday 9 November I called to see how he was. Pete answered the phone and you know the
rest. He always told me that he was born in Dalegarth and hoped to die there. He got his wish.
Only recently he told me in 2002 when he was diagnosed with prostate cancer he was given three
years. I told him he should have had a bet.
He was part of the fabric of my life and I can’t imagine not going into that house or seeing him
again. Maybe it’s helpful to me that I’m away but wherever I am he will always be with me.
Bob Bevan